When you enter into a relationship with married men, inevitably you step into a world that can reveal a lot of joy, and yet, tear all the happiness away instantly.
And this cycle of happiness and pain repeats itself until you can’t take it anymore.
(Henry Louis Mencken) Envy and jealousy are common, painful emotions; their meanings, however, overlap, and the distinction between them is unclear. Here, in seeking to clarify the nature of these highly powerful emotions, I also suggest that their co-occurrence is frequent and clearly evident among lovers of married people.
This distinction is not negligible: the wish to obtain something is notably different from the wish not to lose it. Get out and be with a man that isn’t someone else’s.Recently added article – Breaking up and getting over married men Hi, I’m Natalie!This post was originally published back in 2006 and had such a huge response, I had to take it offline as it was causing problems with the server. Sometimes an ultimatum is needed to bring things to a head, but if you have no intention of actually following through – you’ll look like a dipstick and then he knows that he doesn’t actually have to make a decision. You are the other woman, he belongs to someone else, this isn’t a good indicator of how much he can be trusted and he is probably having sex with his girlfriend/wife. It will do you no favours and makes you appear to be jealous and childish. The moment you feel yourself going off the rails and wanting to follow him, cut up his clothes, follow his girlfriend/wife, hang around at his kids school, fake pregnancies, fake diseases and any other devious or attention seeking carry-on, it’s time to abort the mission and bail out. Take off the rose tinted glasses and particularly if you have been with him for an extended period of time, you need to let go.It’s now been republished but you can see the updated version here: 1. If you have any sense of self-worth planned, don’t be banking on being the other woman forever. An ultimatum is an ultimatum for a reason which means there should only be ONE. Do tell someone but do ensure that you tell someone who isn’t going to blow the lid on things. Don’t make him the focal point of your existence and don’t be afraid to spend time on your own and certainly spend time with friends and family. How can you be spending so much energy running after a man who is throwing you the crumbs of his attention? This doesn’t mean he loves you – it means he’s greedy, indecisive, cowardly and a cheat. It’s a difficult situation but he is with this person and whatever reason he has come up with being with you and cheating on her, he hasn’t left her and he’s still with her. It doesn’t take that long to leave someone and he is emotionally unavailable no matter what he says.